I am wearing a heavy heart tonight…

There are moments when I smile and know life is ok and good… then moments (or sometimes many moments) where I can’t lift the heavy.  I am so happy to have known and had my angel… but then my mind is angry that it was only for 5 1/2 years… I am so glad to know she is ok and in heaven… and then my mind is mad God took her.  While wasting time on facebook I stumbled upon a video memorial for another lovely little lady who had DIPG… and I wished (and still kind of do…) that it was last summer and I had never ever heard of DIPG or palliative care.

Tonight has been especially hard, unbelievably painful and very empty… I can’t wait to go to bed.  I know that tomorrow I will wake up, roll over and make myself get out of bed- make myself run, hopefully clear my head, talk to a friend, come home and make breakfast, entertain my crazy lovely ladies, clean the garage… organize the shed… hang out in my hammock… basically force myself to move and breathe… but for tonight I will let my heavy settle and let my sadness remind me of my angel.  I miss you my perfect angel, I wish you were here to snuggle up and watch ‘The Incredibles’ with your little superhero… I wish I could wake up and say “Gooooodmorning SUNSHINE…”…

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