Lonely or just never alone… that is the question…

Lately my husband has taken our girls on daddy/daughter dates… and I have had the first regular set of hours (preschool) that I am alone and sometimes without expectations, plans or people to hang out with.  What a strange feeling… I am so not used to being alone… alone in my house, alone in my car… seriously alone ANYWHERE.

So on a night that my sister took my lovelies for a ‘kids only’ slumber party and my husband had to work… I was alone and had nothing to do.  I, like any other free mother of three, did just exactly what we know best- I went to Target to walk around and check out the clearance end caps… then I took myself to Starbucks for a tea and went home to bed at 10pm (I thought I would be crazy with time when I got it…).  As I was driving to Starbucks I was thinking of how lonely I felt… and how much I wished I had someone to hang out with then.  Then it dawned on me **lightbulb!!!** that maybe I am not lonely, but maybe I don’t know how to be alone.  My entire life I have had a person bugging me, hugging me, talking to me… etc.  I was one of five kids, had lots of friends, met Matthew young and were together all the time, moved and had a job full of people, had kids who never left my side… you get the picture… never alone.  So in my, I guess moment of clarity, I thought maybe I need to learn to be alone.  I mean who on earth doesn’t know how to be alone?  I guess I am going to challenge myself to learn to enjoy it, like I enjoy a good glass of wine with friends or one of those amazing ‘soul connecting, I remember why I love you’ talks with my spouse… I will learn to like to be just with me.

So here I am challenging myself to start enjoying being alone and figuring out ‘just me’… I will keep you posted on my journey and will accept babysitters to help me make more time for ‘just me’ to figure out herself…


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