… her peaceful spot

It’s always weird to me how perspective changes… when you are young you think you are invinsible until you get older and realize that life has limits and danger… when you are dating you think that marriage will be easy and filled with butterflies – with no work… when you get married you think it will be easy to get to the dream pair of Adirondack chairs next to the lake – then you learn and hard comes, difficulties and differences come.  I am not putting down these feelings and assumptions, just addressing how much the perspective changes in these situations when life hits… when the hard stuff comes.

Most of my life I looked at cemetaries as scary places for dead people… they were definitely haunted and bad places to be at night.  In this past year I have learned the sacredness of these places, the peace they provide and in a way I understand the importance of them.  In this place I go, there is sunshine, when you may have none in your heart, there is peace when you brain is crazy with thoughts and fears… there is a place to go to know that your person is there.  My perspective has been supremely altered in a good way.  I love to go there, I love the beauty of Maddie’s spot, I love the history there.  I often wonder about the people who came there before us, not just today or yesterday but a hundred years ago.  So much life there… to most it is the opposite.  So many people visiting them often, coming for peace and closure, sharing their day, thoughts and prayers… feeling the peace of a defined spot just for their person, their lovely.

I love my time with Maddie.  I love the place we chose, it is her.  It is perfect.  It is exactly the kind of place I would have my dream home, and eventually it will be my home.  It is hilly and filled with trees, it is old and full of character, it is full of heroes and moms and babies and fathers and grandparents… great stories… I am always sad to know that we had to buy a plot, that we are choosing a stone and that Madeline will never sleep in her bed here… but I feel great comfort knowing she is there and that her spot is so perfect.

I am sure life has lots more perspective to change in my life… for now I think I get a break.


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