I wander around – sometimes good and sometimes bad… wondering when I will feel a sense of home.  I used to think ‘home’ was a sense of family, warmth, comfort… us.  It just happened to happen in my little yellow cape cod… so my house was my home.  ‘Home’ is so different now… it is separated, sometimes empty even when full and just not the same.  I can have 40 people squeezed into my ‘home’ and it still feels lonely.  I go about my day and run all over the place… I walk into the door of my ‘home’ and feel no warmth, no real comfort… and a very mixed up version of family.  I wonder if or when that will ever soften… when life as we know it is ‘home’ and ‘normal’.  Will it be a gradual moving toward normal, or do I one day wake up and BAM!  this cute, little yellow cape cod feels like ‘home’ again.

What in the world is ‘home’?  I never in my life envisioned this to be our life, our forever… but once again I will wake, move, drive, eat, run and live until I can let you know how this whole ‘home’ thing works…


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