This season I can barely think of shopping for my girls for Christmas… let alone standing in a line and yelling at people to acquire more junk… and instill a crazy materialistic idea into my ladies. Seriously, people are crazy. I wish they realized how little the junk matters… how none of that crap makes a great day with your family… none of it matters. I love to shop and spend dollars and keep our America running… I love to find ‘the perfect and thoughtful gift’ for my special people, I love to see my girls open some gifts (made by elves of course…)… but I think more of my ‘new normal’ will be thinking the craziness and materialistic of our society is a no go for us.
I keep forgetting to ask the girls what they would like for Christmas, part of it is my fear of the future and looking past a few days, but a big part is just not wanting them to care and be full of that crap. I want real and fun and wholesome and happy kids… I want them to want experiences and sharing and enjoying time… I also want to give them a few gifts to enjoy the tradition and the morning and heck to remind them of the magic of believing in Santa. I need them to believe in the happiness they can not see, to know that this world is full of miracles and important things we can not see and touch.
I remember last year happening upon this letter, from a mom to her daughter. It was exactly how I feel about Santa and believing… in faith. I am such a different person now, so changed. I have so much changing to do… but I come back to this letter and the importance of believing in things we can not see. So here is the link to the letter from a mother to her daughter about the ‘Truth about Santa’
It is very much worth a read. I think about it often, even before this new life and real world with out Maddie hit. I know that part of my feeling is in anger and sadness that Maddie can’t be with us here to enjoy… but honestly I know for a fact that in the end of a life the biggest thing is that it was full of the good stuff. Life is a bucket… to be filled with happy experiences, kind words, good people, simple joys, big smiles, shared stories and hard work towards filling your own ‘life bucket’ and filling all the other ‘life buckets’ we pass in this life.
So this year (and every single year that I am here and breathing) I will work to fill up my lovely ladies buckets and our families buckets and our friends and just strangers buckets… to fill them up with the good stuff, even if it’s just a smile or a donation… less stuff, more life.