Currently I am sitting on a plane in Newark, NJ waiting to head out on the second part of my very first ever flying trip alone. How invigorating and surreal… a real adventure.
I used to joke that someday I would get an all expense paid business, but my ‘boss’ is pretty cheap (husband)… but here it came and I got a weekend to disappear. I needed a disappear. My best friend, who just moved to Cleveland, just closed on the house they built and really needed a friendly face… and I took it as an opportunity to just ‘go’. So my husband said ‘yes’ and I got me some plane tickets… and I there I was on a place to Cleveland.
I know I needed an away- a disappear, for when I am home (at my house, in my environment) I am working, coordinating, picking up, dropping off, emailing, playing, feeding, and doing approximately 1,000,000 other ‘normal’ things. So today I was glad to be on my own little adventure, doing something I had never done… and breathing.
I think one of the coolest and best parts is being completely anonymous in a crowd. Being surrounded and alone- but in a different and good way. No one knows what a year it has been, no one wants to console me- completely anonymous. I sat in huge spaces full of people who don’t know I am ‘Maddie’s Mom’ (not that I don’t love that I was Maddie’s mom), who don’t know anything about me and it was great to feel that. Maybe I needed simple and to back away from the traditions, stress and excitement of this time of year… let’s hope this adventure helps me… helps me move, run, smile, laugh and live through the upcoming months. I know that parts of this process are changing… events and dates and memories are starting to blindside me…