new year?

Today feels very little like a new year or new beginning to me… in fact it is overwhelming how heavy today is.  As we walk into January… and I remember and remember all the differences between this January and last…

One year ago, right about at this minute, I was finishing straightening my hair and doing my make up to take the girls down the street for a little neighborhood New Year’s Eve party.  I heard a big “OH NO” from the kitchen and then turned my head and saw Amelia puke in front of the bathroom door… and our night was changed.  It was a nice and simple night… a set of sisters, seltzer in plastic wine glasses and a nice movie kind of night… a happy New Year. 

We welcomed 2012 with lots of hope, excitement and plans… little trips, weddings, big birthdays… little did we know that February would come.  Honestly, it is still shocking to me that a month after that night our lovely was officially dieing… officially diagnosed with a terminal disease… our 5 1/2 year old silly, vibrant and amazing little girl was going to be gone.

Still shocked.

I don’t know what 2013 has in store for me, for us, for my girls… for my life.  I do know that there are a lot of obstacles to overcome this year, next year… forever.  I am pretty sure I will keep running, moving, driving, playing, crying, laughing, thinking, growing up… mixed with a healthier mix of eating better, taking more ‘me’ time, drinking less wine and keeping my life simpler… who knows maybe I will take a class and be anonymous…

Cheers to the official change of year… I guess 2013 was bound to come around someday.

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