Sometimes living with all of this heavy is… I don’t know… wicked, wicked hard. There are too many piles to keep organized in my brain- kids, life, house, fun, marriage, friends, family… and of course pets (I try to feed them everyday). It just is. Every hard feeling or situation is amplified… like when you are embarrassed about something and it amplifies and you feel like the world can see it all. It is kind of like that. Hard parts of parenting are harder. Hard parts of marriage are harder. Managing all this stuff if freaking ridiculous. It requires more brain power than I have right now, so many things suffer. Someday parts of this will soften, I hope… part of this will become more clear… I hope. I guess we shall see.