It’s hard sometimes as time moves… well actually it’s hard often. There are days when I just know that it is only my brain that is full and missing Madeline… that parts of the world has moved on… even parts that promised that they wouldn’t. I know it has to happen, for many to be able to live on and enjoy life they must move this to another compartment of their brain… and honestly it is my ‘real’, my everything… I am often full of events and opportunities to share Maddie and jobs I need to finish… I almost neglect those close parts of my life. I feel like I do what I need to do to survive. In a selfish way I don’t want to always be with my friends, or family. I know that they wouldn’t understand… but I see them moving and living… and it is harder to see them do it than strangers. It feels better often to be in a new place… ‘old normal’ brings me back to my lack of ‘old normal’.
Kind of a random post of thoughts… little things that bug me I guess.