Took a weekend away to enjoy my girls and see my family… had a great and full and simple weekend. By chance, we got to stay in a friend of the family’s cottage and include extra peace and calm that we needed. I think sometimes that these things work out for a reason and it was a comfortable and clean and warm little cottage. The lake was so calm. It was kind of a little brain and heart medicane that we needed.
I wish Matthew had come. It is hard for him to choose, to figure out or to know what direction to go. I get it, in some ways. I just wish he knew the best place for him to be was with us. What a crazy mixed up ‘new normal’ we live in. Running around, walking through, picking up, dropping off, shopping… cleaning… living on a new level. It is different. In a different normal this would be an unexceptable set-up and pile of mess… but alas after a daughter is gone there are no rules. Anything that gets you through a day to bedtime is life now.
Sometimes our family together feels so small, so it is just easier to not be together. I don’t often live that way, easy isn’t my style.
The lake, the laughing, the pumpkins, the calm, the days surrounded by my family were good for the girls and I. There is nothing I like more than sitting around a bonfire joking and telling stories… talking to my dad about projects, my nieces about school, my brother about ‘end of the world’ plans and what to stock up on… it is the best. It was great to be there and hard to come back. I miss the lake already…