The end of an era…

Today marked the end of an era in our grief journey… just after Madeline passed we were set up at Haven Schenectady for grief work.  Haven is a really different approach to families and people on the grieving journey.  Instead of counseling and giving advice and going ‘by the textbooks’… Haven is built on a Companionship Model.  It is exactly what we needed- my girls and I.  We needed someone to walk with us and listen… someone to share their experiences… someone to be there.  I think in our experience the neighbor-helping-neighbor was such a positive impact for us.  My girls loved meeting with their Art Therapist.  She worked with them, encouraged them and supported them.  Sometimes it was just a happy afternoon activity doing art and music and play… other times she helped and recognized feelings that were exhibited during play.  It helped me, it helped them.  My counselor became, to me, one of my people… an important part of my week.  I could feel the difference of a week off, when we couldn’t meet.  I could feel the ‘pent up’ heavy… that I needed to share and talk about.  She helped me see bits of me, changes in me and listened to my crazy.  I will miss our Wednesday afternoon meetings, more than most can comprehend.

I feel like we are losing another person in a way… all of this loss piles up.  All of the hard and heavy can really wear on a person.  I am sick of missing things and people.  I miss looking forward to certain things and having them work out and be right.  I know, just as I know that I will be ok, that we will find a niche in a new ‘Haven’ or safe space.  I will say that our Haven can never be replaced though.  I believe we were brought together with Haven and our companions at just the right moment… I don’t know if I am ready to lose them.  I guess I don’t get to choose… I will carry those angels with me forever, I know the girls will too.  Our Wednesday afternoons with Villa Italia Gelato dates are over… but I wont forget them.  Some weeks those were our very best days.

Check out Haven of Schenectady and if you happen to know a group who could save them and their program- contact me or them…


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