… and finally the day has come that I have a 6 year old

Sometimes I think about being a mother and how it feels like I have been doing this for so long… ‘but I only have a 5 year old’.  My brain would, kind of, let me think that.  Then I would realize/think/know that I have been a mom now for 7 1/2ish years… I just don’t have the daughter that should be 7 1/2.  It sucks.  I don’t want this one to be a sad, hard to read set of words… so I am changing course.

Amelia Jane is 6 years old.  She was beaming this morning- and I LOVE TO SEE HER HAPPY.  It just makes me feel so good inside to see the girls caught in the moment, excited about something and just bright and light and happy.  I love it.  It made my brain and heart and body better seeing and being around that today.  I am pooped!  Halloween and Birthday in the same week and I am always exhausted this time of year.  What a special day though, it was chock full of Amelia.  She enjoy her party at Art Smarts, a local Art Studio, very tailored to children and creativity and no stress.  Her favorite little friends (and we were lucky enough to have her Kindergarten teacher and First Grade teacher there)… they all made her feel so special.  Thank goodness we have such amazing people… my girls get to grow up with this positive and warm and safe energy around them.  They get regular life- but also special tid bits that let them know that they are sooo special and loved especially on our journey.  So having these awesome girls there, doing a really lovely and personal piece of art (Collage Self Portrait) was so perfect.  I loved seeing the girls interact, laugh and dance… I loved that these little kind girls brought such thoughtful gifts for Amelia.  Those gifts had meaning and they were so proud.  She loved everything… I could see me in her this afternoon.  She wanted to open everything and do every craft… and work fast to get them done.  I had to tell her to slow down… but she was so excited.  I remember doing that and rushing through projects.  That girl and I, we have a lot in common.  I laugh some because she is so much like me, but so much shinier and more stylish.  Maybe I would have been if I weren’t the middle child in a family of 5… the hand-me-downs I got looked nothing like the amazing gently used clothes many friends have given us (lucky girl).  Her sense of style and determination to wear it is cute and frustrating… like trying to wear high heels to school (a no no…) but today it was all her- she could wear whatever she would like, whatever her brain thought up that was appropriate.  She chose a purple sweater shawl thing, with a skirt and tank… and high heels.  It was interesting, bold and it grew on me- but it wasn’t my day to shine or pick :).  Her smile was on ALL day.  I will tell you that an Amelia smile is the best freakin’ accessory… it is the.best.smile.ever… if you don’t believe me you… well you are wrong :).

So today my little 6 year old beaming, happy, smiling, shiny, lovely and proud Amelia made my heart super happy.  I missed Madeline today, but I just watched the happy and kept my heart light.  Happy Birthday Miss Amelia Jane…


(also a happy birthday to my lovely and amazing Aunt Jane who is with Madeline this year… and my baby sister Molly Jane… November 2 is a good day to be born)


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