So this is Christmas…

madeline christmas 5

madeline christmas 4

madeline christmas 3

Gone are the days of regular and normal holidays and traditions.  Gone are the days of being blissfully unaware of how hard life would become.  Gone are the days of having all of my lovely ladies to share Christmas traditions, Faith and time with.  Reality hits hard sometimes, very hard.  There is so much positive and good in this life, even with all of the hard junk.  I am reminded, almost all the time, of the gifts God has and continues to give us.  Some can choose to not see them… to see it at coincidence or good luck- but it isn’t.  We are surrounded and carried when we need it most.  I know that is not earthly… that it is God sending people, putting things on their hearts, minds and souls… I know it is Him taking care of us.  I know it is Him helping us on this journey.  I know that He is trying to make some things easier so we can handle the other things, and feel the feelings we must, grieve in the way we need to.  Others might think I am nuts or all crazy Catholic Girl- be know that I am right.

Yesterday we celebrated Christmas with Madeline.  It was… is perfect the right term?   I mean it would have been perfect if she were there to hug, hold and snuggle… it was just right the way the world is now.  Thursday night marked Devon’s (Superman Devon) one year angel anniversary… and the girls and I attended a wonderful balloon tribute.  It was really a beautiful hard night… and it made me know that I need to actually set up Madeline’s Christmas celebration.  So I left that night to do that.  I emailed a bunch of our family and friends and picked Saturday AM for the time.  My friend Amanda (who is amazing) asked if she could take over planning.  I was so relieved… so Saturday morning we only had to show up.  I walked up to Maddie’s Spot and was really deeply happy, maybe joyful, to see it so decked out and special.  The tree was perfect, the lights are perfect… it is exactly how it should be and I was not capable of doing it.  People started showing up, balloons and ornaments in hand.  There was hot cocoa, coffee, donuts and Christmas carols.  It was perfect.  Devon’s mom and Myle’s mom were there… and I feel like we got to celebrate Christmas with our angels… it was as perfect as it can get right now.  We hung out, shared, decorated the tree, ran, had snowball fights… then everyone went on their way to celebrate Christmas, family… and be reminded of this lovely amazing angel that has changed them.

Those are some of the best.people.ever.  I assure you that they, and some others, are gifts to our family from God.  There is no other explanation.  I am proud and glad and happy and moved and blessed.  Enjoy these pictures… I love them.  They are happy and real and honest and joyful ways to celebrate Madeline and for us all to come together and share her…



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