Live… with Kelly and Michael (YIPPEE)

Long ago, in a place that is hardly recognizable to my present, I had a very new, very fresh baby named Madeline.  She was born on June 25, 2006 and I was way.to.young.to.be.a.mom.  I know, I know I was 23 or 24 (that would require knowing whether I am 31 or 32 now… and I can’t usually remember)… and that isn’t too young a baby right?  Only I was very immature.  I still am in a lot of ways… but this is going in the wrong direction…

Back then, when it was just team Maddie and momma, and we didn’t have anything to do.  Back then, when the rest of the people in my ‘3 hours away from home’ world went to work and school and business trips and happy hour and basically life outside the home… I had no one really.  It was a shock for me.  I am a crazy social person.  I find my happy when I am surrounded… I love people.  I think I need people.  Back then though, it was only team Maddie and momma…

Every morning I would wake up as Matthew got ready for work and he would bring Madeline to me.  I would snuggle and feed her until we got up.  Then I would make coffee (which I never drank until I met Madeline)… and sit on the couch with Madeline, my coffee and my boppy and watch Live with Regis and Kelly.  I loved that show, and often joked that all of my current events and news came from the first 19 minutes of Regis and Kelly.  After that show I would have breakfast and then Madeline and I would set out on one of our 2-8 walks that day.  I swear I used up a set of wheels that summer.  It was a different, hard and shocking new life for me.  I missed the old me, but loved Madeline and the ease/feeling of being her mom.  I loved that I was darn good at it.  It was so lonely though.  As time moved on and my morning habit/chat was with Regis and Kelly, I got to know them.  I felt like they were my friends, that Kelly was kind of my only mom friend.  I loved hearing about her kids and husband and life… I loved seeing that she took such great care of herself and was so outgoing and real.  I honestly felt a friendship, be it one sided.  I know I would have been that lady that saw her in the park and ran over and started talking to her about her life, day and social calendar.  I was that crazy lady.  Seeing her filled a void that I had, a person like me, in a way.  I know, I know it is crazy- but at least it wasn’t a useless crush, but a ‘friend’ I created to make me feel less lonely and vulnerable.  I told Matthew “Someday I am going to see them, someday”.  I so wanted to meet Regis.  He made me laugh.  I so wanted to hug Kelly (and not get arrested for stalking)… I just wanted to let them know that they helped me.  That their company, in a way, saved me.

Fast Forward to today… or better yet yesterday.  I got an email from a friend in Philly, who I have been trying to connect with and meet in NYC.  The email was a picture of tickets for January 10 at Kelly and Michael!  I have gotten more excited as the moments passed!!!!!!!  I am so excited, and most likely I will just be audience person number 174 and see this show I have always wanted to see and just see Kelly and hear her… and go home.  For me though it is so.much.bigger.  It is kind of like my very first business trip.  It is a little break from this life.  It is a cool opportunity to meet a friend I have met on this current journey and get to know each other more.  It is a chance to go to the city that surrounds you with people and noise and busy and energy.  I can not wait.  I keep hoping that somehow, someway I will get the chance to say hello to Kelly and let her know the role she played in my life.  I know it is corny… but I sat with Madeline everyday and enjoyed her show… and now Madeline isn’t here and she is a big memory for me.  I would love to get to share Madeline, Maddie’s Mark Foundation and who knows welcome her into our ‘herd’.  I will be realistic and create my own ‘best day ever’.  I will enjoy a couple days of freedom and my first ever unofficial business trip.  To most those are little things that happen all the time… but to me these are things I have looked forward to and never felt like I would get… I mean seriously look at my resume!  I am in no place to be qualified for a business trip- but here it is :).

I am lighter today.  I feel good.  I am excited.  That never happens… who knows maybe there is some Christmas Spirit or Magic in my heart after all… maybe Maddie is helping me find and reach some of those things she loved too…

❤ you darling.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Live… with Kelly and Michael (YIPPEE)

  1. Reblogged this on The Everyday Windshield and commented:
    This is a post from a neighboor. Her daughter Maddy and Evie were good friends. Its been two years, and our little house still smiles when we talk about Maddy. I completely understand the connection that Erin talks about with Kelly — mine was with Oprah. When you have that first baby, your life is turned upside down and backwards while you are adjusting to the new routine.
    I pray that Erin will have the opportunity to share Maddies story and the Maddie’s Mark Foundation. What a wonderful and amazing time to tell the world about some “Best Days Ever”

    Like

  2. Erin have a great day today!!! 1/10/14!!! You don’t know me but I am from watertown ny my daughter has a brain tumor also there is no treatment or surgery to get rid of it. She is still alive and is able to go to school!!! Just know that I am thankful each and everyday for her and try to make everyday THE BEST DAY EVER!!!! Think of you and your family often. Always in my prayers!!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s