New Year… resolutions?

I have always felt the lack of a need for ‘New Year’s Resolution’s’… I always thought seriously why not just change and move toward a more positive ‘you’ always?

Not that we are always in need of moving to a better us, sometimes it is nice to sit in our comfy yoga pants, know that you can work out tomorrow and eat a bag of doritos and drink wine with no reservations or regret… sometimes it is ok, healthy and good even, to just be kind to the person we are right now.  To just reflect on all the hard work you have done just to be the ‘you’ that you are right now.  To look at the challenges, goals, hardships, happy’s, blessings and achievements that this ‘you’ at this moment has overcome, enjoyed, shared, recognized or worked hard for.

This year I kind of did that, I lived to get by and be just this me.  I was reminded often to be kind to myself… and love me.  I do, I love me when I can feel my happy, bold self… I love me when I can wear something and feel pretty with my wobbly bits, I love me when I think of something really great to write or fun to do… I love me when I react to my girls exactly how I want to… I love me.  Sometimes I am not kind to me though.  This year I think all I lacked, other than Madeline, my marriage and my security and safe, was challenges.  I need a challenge for me, a kind one, an attainable one.  I need to finish something that is healthy and hard and helps my mind find a healthy pathway for it’s thoughts.  I need to set up some races and commit to something.  I have been let off the hook this year by so many for committing, with good reason, but I am ready to put my toe in and test the commitment waters, if that makes sense.  I am ready to pay for a race, to train for a goal and to complete it.  I am ready to feel that end high of knowing I just did something that I always thought God didn’t make me to do.  I love it.  I miss it.  I will find it.

Back to resolutions… I am here, standing on my soapbox admitting I was wrong.  That there is sometimes a need to set a date as a goal to commit to something… a kind of point of reference for improvement or change.  I guess New Year’s is as good a day as any, but it represents a fresh year, a new number, 365 days and beyond that have not been written.  It feels like a great starting point.  So my resolution:

To commit to a kind, difficult, healthy goal.  To commit to keeping my body, mind and soul healthier on this journey.  To get some miles between me and the past few years… maybe a lot of miles.

Happy New Year’s to all of my amazing Polka Dot Tree Climbers… thank you for reading, following, sharing and supporting me and mine in this journey.  I am changed and blessed.

❤ love you darling.  One more New Year closer to champagne, cheese platters and ball drops in heaven…

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