When in doubt… head to mass.

Today was kind of a cold and dreary day, though it was warmer than the weather this past week.  It just felt cold.  We slept in this morning, I woke up to some stressful texts and decided to snuggle a little deeper and watch out my window for a bit longer.  Finally I decided to turn on the guided meditation I have been doing and let my brain and breathing synch up some.  As I finished I heard someone walk out of their bedroom and turn on PBS… and then the world was awake.  So downstairs I went to make some coffee, let out Sparky and get the girls some juice.  We snuggled some more until I made birthday cake pan-a-cakes (as Lucy calls them)… and we got ready for the later mass.

We headed off to mass in no particular mood or with any real feeling of energy… just off to mass and then the Y.  Amelia picked our seats (WAY up front) and we settled in and listened and sang, kneeled and prayed.  It was a great mass, not only was Father’s Homily well written and delivered but the girls were really good.  His homily was so pertinent to me, my thoughts and my life that I had to sneak a Stewarts milk club card out of my wallet and write down some of his words and points.  He spoke a lot about Ordinary Time and Celebration time… but those are the points that really stood out and yelled to me.

Father said that there is light everywhere, that we have been brought light since Jesus came, but people in the light often prefer or move toward darkness.  I know this, I have carried from a marriage counsellor Matthew and I once saw, the knowledge that our brain thinks and travels in pathways- it will always choose the easier pathway.  If you have had a hardship, most likely your brain will choose the harder and more negative way because it is easier for your brain- but you must train your brain to go to the good and see the good and then it will start to move toward the lighter and more positive thoughts or memories.  I feel like his homily touched this fact, that we can be surrounded by light but still chose and move toward the darkness.  Look around us… in this life we have all had hard, terrible, painful, heavy and sad things… things that others could never understand or fin or know… there are enough bad, evil, hard, grief and burdens in this world to just see them and sit in them… to live with them and focus on them.  I see that God has brought great light… that light is always there- surrounding, carrying, hugging, supporting, smiling, loving and blessing… His light is so bright.  This light can help you move from darkness should you choose to see it and move toward it… eventually it will be easier to always move toward His light, to see His bright.  The dark is always there, but in the dark there is always light… you must chose to see it.  Humans are notorious for seeing and seeking the dark on their journeys to seek great lives full of light and love and blessings.  It is a hard thing to stand back and see that in the darkness there was light, there was love and there were blessings.  I believe much of what keeps me alive and breathing, and believe me I have bad days/weeks/hours/moments… is the light that surrounds us, the blessings in that light and the gift of being able to see it…

Father spoke today about kindness.  I loved it.  I want kind AND happy kids… I want the kind to be inside of their core.  I think it is, though sometimes it kills me when they are unkind.  I think for the most part my family is a very kind and accepting and loving family.  Back to the homily- Father’s words really sat in my heart.  “Love the God we can’t see by loving the neighbors we can see”… I think he put into words my mantra.  My whole life I have moved in the direction of kindness, have hit some bumps in the road that I am not proud of, but overall I KNOW this.  To love Jesus is to be like Him… you can go to church, read the bible and ‘follow Christ’… but the only way to be a true Christian is to do just that.  If you believe in Jesus then you follow him, to follow him is to follow the character and model that He was- that God sent for us.  You must be like Him.  What was He like?  He was kind, understanding, compassionate, accepting, generous, forgiving, real and true.  He was what we are told to model and know.  How can we be like Him?  We can be like Jesus by loving the neighbors (family, friends, strangers) we can see…

“Kind words, Kind actions”.  This is not only something Father said today- but one the things I say to my girls when they are not being nice to each other or we are heading into a playdate or something.  I tell them “Remember Kind words, Kind actions”… it was so strange to hear Father say that.  It isn’t a common phrase and it isn’t one I really see myself picking up from others… but he said it.  It was like a reminder straight to me that it is an important remind for my girls.  It is bigger than that- imagine if an adult stopped before entering a situation they might be hostile about and thought “kind words, kind actions”… or if teachers started the day off reminding kids… or who knows if people just started saying that before the day started.  Maybe it could guide their brain to the lighter and more positive side.  I have, just like everyone, been guilty of being unkind in my words or actions.  I can imagine that thinking this before those situations might have changed the outcome… who knows.  I think it was an awesome message… amazing and true and made just for me (and everyone else there).  I am thankful we made it to mass today… and that the girls were good and I could listen.  I am just thankful, blessed and surrounded…


PS… the mass ended with “lord of the dance”… it is a favorite song of mine and my father in law… and the tune in that song brought my mind back to Madeline’s nightly routine when she was little, little… of bath and then snuggling to watch a DVRed HBO show called Classical Baby.  The tune in ‘lord of the dance’ was just like one of the classical songs with elephants and animals floating, playing and dancing.  Good memory… good mass…


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