Laundry Day.

While most dread laundry folding day for the same reasons… it never ends, its not very fulfilling and it is something we must do.  I dread the ever shrinking Musto Mountain of Laundry.  Every year I lose more people in the pile…

A couple of years ago I hated laundry days because it took so long.  In those moments I wished for a smaller pile, a pile that I could tackle in an afternoon and not show off to all of our guests for days when I was behind.  It’s funny how I would love to go back to that time, with the big pile.  I wish I had to iron and hang Matthew’s clothes, fold and separate 1,000,000 onsies, socks, shirts and pants that were so close in size that I was really the only one who knew which lovely Musto Chick fit or owned that piece.  It was never help when anyone else ‘helped’.  I used to be embarrassed by the backdrop of my cute kids pictures in the living room when I sent them to family or posted them on Facebook.  I always hoped people were enjoying or loving up the girls and not judging me for my far behind homemaking skills.

Every laundry day I am reminded of the smaller chunk of time that the laundry sits out… no longer are my days busy with feeding, changing, nursing, play dates and afternoon naps that I fell asleep too.  I am so busy now too, but it is a different busy.  I have time to put the laundry away and most days enough energy to do the job.  Back then it was a different survival mode.  I miss that very primitive survival mode, where I truly didn’t function outside the house… but the only places I left for were play dates with other tired mamas (full of coffee and moral boosting energy), walks and trips to Target.  Now it always looks like I function, I guess I do- what’s that saying?  Fake it ’til ya make it… generally doesn’t apply but feels right in this spot.  I don’t think I am faking life, just moving and not doing much more than moving in a direction.  It is a survival mode that looks like I am ok much of the time.  I miss the time that I stayed home with my crappy yoga pants, messy hair and snuggled, stressed and did the things that a mom of 3 under 3 has to do to get to bedtime.  I miss those days and that non-schedule-schedule.  If you told me a few years ago that I would miss that time… that this lady who can shower and wash her face most everyday, works out pretty regularly, is allowed to get take out, once and a while gets a cleaning lady, has 9 hours a week with no Musto Chicks- would miss that lady, I might have smacked you or sent you away.  Funny how life changes isn’t it.  

The highlight of my laundry day is the solar rainbow maker in my window.  If Laundry Day happens to have a little bit of sun- I am surrounded by rainbows, spinning in the room.  In some ways it feel like Maddie is there in the room folding the laundry with me.  So in this task that hurts so much she sends little bits of light all around the room and keeps me moving in some direction.

I know she loves when we don’t just survive but she sees us live, breathe, move, run, smile, change, enjoy, cry and be us…

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