You know what I miss… I miss taking on projects and crafts and sitting and doing them for hours at night with a glass of wine and a thinking brain. I miss that. I felt good this week to take it on, and of course bit off more than I should. I guess it’s my nature. I am not home unless I create a pile of painting chaos… a toy box for a friend, centerpieces for Myles of Smyles Gala, a Captain America project for a ‘best day ever’ and of course superhero personalized towels for a ‘best day ever’. Honestly… I always did that. Man I missed it. This week I stood in my kitchen for hours with paint brushes on hand, thinking of ideas for life, things I want to do, deep contemplations about my life and marriage, thoughts about schedules and things… basically all the brainwork that I put off so often. It was good. I love how the projects are coming out. I love being creative.
Back in the day… I kind of called myself the Queen of Imperfectly Perfect. I felt that it covered my projects, my personality and the time I put in. I came into the knowledge that nothing freaking works the way my head plans… so I am very good at finding a new direction for the project or placing strategic polka dots to hide or make it ‘perfect’. I swear nothing I do it perfect… but there is patina in the mess… there is bits of me in the imperfect. I think, and most people follow my lead… who knows. Anywho, off topicish, I love it. I miss it. I found a bit of it. My fingernails and cuticles are pretty much littered with orange, my lips have the colors of paint that I had to write with (‘sharpening’ the brush leaves paint on your lips). I look a lot like Lucy when I paint. I am a hot mess. My aprons and table covers are FULL of paint and mod podge… my hair, hands and most likely side of my leg will end up with paint in It (sometimes I wonder how… but who really cares).
I love the mode that a project puts me in. The concentration and focus. I don’t really achieve that in any other activities. I love to paint, mod podge, use polymer clay and make anything look distressed (another tactic to make something ‘perfectly imperfect’).
I remember my old table in my dining room, it was tiny and old and I loved it. It was covered with bits of paint from my and my girls. I could never get it all up. It was the saddest part for me when I put it away and we bought a new, bigger table. I missed the stories in the table. I painted wooden valances to match the girls new bedding, a long time ago. It was stripes in coral, teal, blue, yellow and green- thick and thin ones. I worked forever on it. When I took the table apart to put it away the spots from the stripes were there. There were times the girls and I did projects that nicked the table, or got enamel on it. I had all of those moments on that old table. I miss it. I have a fair amount of comfort knowing that Matthew sits at that table and uses it as a desk now. That he has a bit of the girls and me and our ‘Musto Chick’ projects with him. (I also told him that when he doesn’t want it that table is mine)… I love those Perfect Imperfections. I love that there is a big spot on my new table, because for Amelia’s 100 day project last year I grabbed the wrong pink paint and she painted her canvas with my sister Molly with enamel paint… I can keep that spot forever.
I am glad I found some of my piece in my ‘Perfect Imperfect’ projects… who knows what kind of things I will take on next…