I am not a game.

game of life

 

There comes a time, a moment, when we are struck with a life situation in which others choose to hurt us. There comes a time when others take advantage of our hearts, minds and health- for lack of a better term.

In those moments I want those people who choose to hurt others to know… we are not games. We are not meant to be manipulated and coerced… we are not meant to be lied to, cheated on or treated like we are not important. We are not.

We are people. I believe we are all good people, at the start. It is what we do with that good that really defines us and shows who we are as life and time move. We can chose to fill buckets or dip in them, love or manipulate… to play a game with life or to live it. I have known and loved people on both sides of these descriptions… I have seen them be great people and then soon after make choices to hurt, lie, cheat, steal and dip into life buckets. I chose to walk away, to stay away, from those dippers, manipulators, cheaters, liars… people who chose to hurt me. I chose to create a fence stay safe from people who wish to hurt my heart, mind, body and soul.

I think, for the most part, the people in this world are amazing, the real ones. The others are… ‘players’. I once saw a ‘player’ as one who ‘played the field’ and caught lots of girlfriends or boyfriends and had little respect for those relationships. Alas… my eyes are opened to a broader sense of ‘playing’. ‘Players’ play life. They don’t love it, enjoy it, feel it, live it, react in it, share it, create it… whatever- they play it. They are selfish in their game, working to create a scenario where they end up happy, at the cost of others. They play to win… I feel like the ‘players’ in my life were invisible as ‘players’ for a long time. I look back and see signs, but think I always tried to overcompensate for those signs or try to fix them… or even try to look over them. I hope that I will recognize the ‘players’ in the future… and keep them outside my fence. I don’t play life.   I live it. I feel it. I love it. I get mad in it. I get tired. I live.

I almost, I did say almost, feel sad for the ‘players’. I know that to them the real feeling of life and enjoying and living and being mad and being happy and being sad and being joyful… all of those ‘being’s they just pretend. They never are what they work so hard to be … they pretend. Imagine a pretend life…

I am me. I am real. I have been a game to some, but I don’t deserve to be. God made me not to be piece in some one’s life game- but I am here to create a colorful, fun and challenging REAL life… and then look up to the Big Guy when life sticks a puzzle in front of me. We are not meant to play others games- but to maintain our boundaries, ask for help when we need it, listen to our instincts and life a fulfilling, contented, blessed and real life.

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