Saturday morning I was up and at ‘um early for a nice slow long run with a great friend. Then I headed home to mow the yard… my not-so-favorite job that seems to just take up time going from one side of the yard to the other. It’s such a darn chore… I cut grass and the whole time I think “there are 3 other things to get to before I can get into my hammock or sit and catch up on articles or play with the girls…” I am definitely not an enjoyer of mowing- though I do love the outcome and how great the yard looks all manicured and cut and very green- plus it is easier to find and pick up dog poop in a yard that doesn’t have a jungle of grass.
So… I was mowing, thinking ‘I got this… I got this…’ My yard looks great, my landscaping looks healthy and pretty and now my grass will look good too. My neighbor across the street was out working on his motorcycle. My lawn mower started making a weird slow down sound, then ran out of gas. I had some blushed cheeks for feeling like a butthead running out of gas in the front yard, but I played cool and took care of things. I am one of those people who must not maintain a silence… so I ask Mark what he was up to. I told him I hate mowing… and he asked where Matt was. I told him Matt had an apartment and we were separated. I told him all bold and like my 3 year old stubborn niece Payton- “Don’t worry though, I can do it myself… all by myself”. I told him to have a great day at the motorcycle thing and started mowing again. The mower started making weird noises, the motor was all up and down in sound and didn’t sound healthy… I turned it off. I was blushing again… and jokingly said something about the lawnmower… grrr…. something like that. He stood wanting to come over and check it out. I was obviously stressed and embarrassed and worried- half the front was mowed the other half was a jungle. In a moment I thought shit can I buy a new lawn mower… can I borrow one, where do I get this one fixed… ugh. Mark piped up “I don’t want to come help until you ask…”
Erin was cocky and though Mark was kind of joking, he was honest. I was all “I can do it myself” and needed help. I got one of those lessons we sometimes earn… the kind the kick us in the butt and remind us to not get too proud of ourselves and our goals and actions and now… think and use humility. I needed to be humbled a little bit- to stand in my lovely yard that I (mostly) did ‘all by myself’ and step back and ask for help. It was a note to self moment… I will keep making those little note to selves… and hopefully will stay in check. I will also hope to bug Matthews Father or my dad to help me and look at the mower this week. Who knows… I might have to borrow Mark’s mower again. There is always next week to do it “all by myself”…