So today I got my two first cavities filled… I am 32 and I had cavities (this morning)… There are two sides to this- one that is glad and proud that I made it this far sans cavities the other that is taking this as a lesson.
Last year I had Strep 3 times. I was basically sick with Strep for 3 months. Generally my immune system rocks… but last year it was not up to par. I vowed to take better care of my immune system this year- and didn’t get Strep. This year I had two cavities they found at a routine cleaning. In a life with no cavities, it is very sad to get one (let alone two) when you are 32.freakin.years.old. Honestly, I should have made it to at least 36 or something like that… I believe that these past two years have taken a bigger toll on my body and health than I notice. I am sure I have gained wrinkles, lost sleep, eaten poorly and many times just gotten by in survival mode. At times during this I have lost significant amounts of hair, which my little sister has helped me find ways and cuts to camouflage. I have not been the best at flossing and brushing and maintaining a good strict dental routine… I had missed routine six month visits to avoid seeing the office we used to go to. I love to talk about Madeline, but there it felt very much like something was missing. So I avoided… I didn’t (still forget) to take my vitamins. I am just not as up on taking great care of me. I need to be. I need to sleep more and boost my immune system, I need to relax more… because I never let myself… I need to take my vitamins and maintain wellness so I don’t get bugs, Strep and other sickness. I need to floss often and take better care of my teeth. I need to put leave in conditioner in my hair, and always (ALWAYS) remember sunscreen on my face and neck (that reminds me I am out…) and to use an eye cream. I don’t like feeling icky, tired and not well. I know that parts of grief are exhausting and show as those things…. but I believe part of it is taking care of me and being healthier to deal and feel.
I don’t want to be on this earth forever, I have said all along that when my time comes I am outta here. I can not wait for a super hug and a giggly, raspy girl telling me she loves me. I don’t want that time to be soon and hurt Amelia and Lucy more… and I don’t want to cut my living short by not taking care of my life and health. I want to be able to sky dive on my last birthday on earth… even if I am stuck here until I am 90. I want to walk around with my grandkids and chase them and take them on vacations… I want to enjoy life.
I must take better care of me to get to be a healthy, fun and energetic old lady who ALWAYS sports bright red lipstick and noodle jewelry… I want to still work out and drink coffee with my chicks at the Y after we take chair yoga and see all the young moms and remember (not put down) how hard those times were and how amazing it is to look back. I want to enjoy living while I am still here alive.
So… long story short… I would like to thank Dr Perrino for all those lessons today. While he was busy drilling and numbing me I was learning, or better yet, being reminded of a super important life lesson- floss and sky dive.