Seriously. As I sit in my hammock, at the end of a Tuesday (shocked that it is ONLY Tuesday)… I think I should look like this:
But really looking and feeling a lot more like this:
AHHHH!!! Man I am tired. I am yawning and slow and hot and tired. This morning was boot camp… a good, hard work out. I always love it, hate it, loath it, beg for it… NEED it. It is the beat the crap out of my body, tire out my brain and catch up with my favorite, crazy and strong women. It is a rock in this journey, more than an outlet.
I left the YMCA to head to the bank, to cash a check, start a savings account, talk about accounts for the girls and fix my online banking… then post office and gas… then home for laundry, tea party work, Maddie’s Mark emails, event work, swag bag prep… etc.etc.etc. (spoken like the characters on Seinfeld). Then today was swim lessons and home for dinner, play, hot tub, gardening and work on an article… I am tired. Stinking tired.
I think boot camp is easier that life. There I said it. Nina and Christine must work harder, because there is no heavy back pack, gallon of water carrying, sprinting, squatting… etc.etc.etc. that can kick this life in the butt. This week is always nuts. I am feeling it bigger this year… I haven’t had a moment to think about the fact that I should have an 8 year old next week. I haven’t gotten to my sad or heavy thinking Madeline should be starting (or already started) her ‘teeth are too big, body is lanky, hair is everywhere’ awkward stage. I don’t even get the awkward stage with her… just the baby, toddler and lovely kid stages. I know it will come next week and I will sit in it, relish it, love it, hate it and feel the hurt. This week is just to busy. This boot camp of a life has put off some of that… to get through the hurdles, sprints, squats, picnic table lifts and burpees that this time of year puts in front of me.
What, you wonder, does one of these hurdles, burpees or squats look like? Last week my middle daughter moved up to second grade… tomorrow my youngest little tom boy graduates from preschool… next week I should have an eight year old… the tea party I planned for my daughter the moment I named her is now a way to remember her and share her… a way to give her sisters and friends a gift from her every year… crazy how that happened.
Tomorrow Lucy graduates. She is my little Lucy-bean-butter-butt-head… she is my itty bitty musto chick… now she’s not. Ugh. I love seeing her grow and take it in and think about it all. I love her. I laugh a lot when she’s around. She and Amelia are infectious when they laugh and play. I tell her stop growing- she tells me “I can’t God just keeps giving me just one more day” and I ask her what I will do next year, she says “come have lunch with me every day and look at my picture lots mommy”. I will miss my trusty sidekick. I will miss drop offs… her teachers have been a part of our family for five years… through growing, changing, biting, living, dying, separating and divorcing… all of it. What will I do with out them? I can’t think about it all now… this is enough boot camp for the day. There is always tomorrow to do more hurdles, squats and sprints… tonight I need some sleep and lots of hydration (and some wine…)