… and though she be little she is fierce.

though she be but little

… so a long time ago, or maybe not that long ago, I would have seen this quote and thought about a spunky little girl who loves to get her own way.  Ohhhh… how life changes.

I see these words on plaques or in conversation and think of Ayven.

I think of a lot of kids, and the different way I see and know the word fierce now.  What once popped out in my brain as a way to describe a spunky kid who loves to stand up for what they believe and get their own way- I now see fighters, strong, brave and bold kids who endure treatments that were studied and created for adult size bodies with very different types of tumors.  I now see little ones with no hair and big scars… tubies and tired and happy and pale… hoping to get home for the next holiday or birthday, heck hoping to get home to their sisters or brothers for some love and normal.  Gone are the days of thinking of just spunky and creative types- but instead I have entered into Awareness of Childhood Cancer and blastomas, gliomas, sarcomas… chemo, radiation, surgery, trials… NED, remission and stages… all words I didn’t really think of before I entered this world of childhood cancer, mortality and fierce children and families.  I don’t just sit and think about the mortality and need for change- I see the good too.  I see parents snuggling their kids and loving them, getting to know them more than others get to know theirs.  I see families get stronger and fight and understand life more.  I see communities support, people gain faith and friends learn to be really great friends.  I see the fight, the battle, the hurt, the struggle and the fear… but there is a lot of amazing that surrounds those hards.  I see a world that is becoming more aware and moving in a direction to take care of those families- and change this.  I see a world that is starting to change and learn and lower the number of families who hear the words “your child has cancer”.  I see changes coming.  I hate the losses that have happened, they are unchangeable.  I know that Madeline’s journey was what it was… it wasn’t rewritable or changeable.  I know that she is ok… I know that she wants us to share her journey, fight for change and help the world see and be better.


I see Ayven and her sisters… playing, loving, reading, running, learning, living, laughing, growing and changing… and I see her fierce, her fight, her happy.  She is one strong, brave and amazing girl.  God has big plans for Ayven and her sisters.

Today is Ayven’s Best Day Ever… her big party to celebrate being chemo and medicine free.  Today is all about her journey and fight, her bond with her sister’s… her special and amazing support.  Today is about her family.  I am so excited and honored that we go to plan this and help them celebrate her health and fierce personality.  Today is like a little gift from Madeline to help Ayven and her family enjoy their journey.  Today is going to ROCK!!!!!  The sun is shining, the tents are up, the bounce guy should be there soon and the cake looks a-freakin’-mazin’.  It will be a Best Day Ever… a day of memories and fun for Ayven and her family and friends…

So go out… and help us change this.  Help us create a knowledgeable world to help fix this crazy cancer world… share, spread, change.  #stepup


*update* today was amazing, best.party.ever.  There were ponies, pictures, pasta, chickens, goats, ice cream trucks… bounceing and cake.  Seriously best.day.ever.  So many came to celebrate and enjoy and share… to show Ayven and her family that life is good and full and they are surrounded…

ayven bde



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