Waiting for a boy…

In my family it has been a while since a boy came along… my brother has a pile of girls, Rikki has hayle- then there are my Musto Chicks- except for Nicholas (Bocker) and Ethan.  My mom and dad had nine grandkids- only two boys.  That is until tonight…

Since this morning I have known that my little sister was on her way to hospital, then progressing and now… acting all Rockstar at 9cms.  I have a new little nephew on the way.  I am guessing he will be here soon, maybe just after midnight.  I believe he is coming on September 16, 2014, but I guess he has 15 minutes to prove me wrong.  I am very excited for the text or phone call to let me know he is here, out of the womb ready for the life God made him for.

September 16, 2005 I married the person I believed God made for me, to grow up, old and through all this stuff- good and bad.  Fast forward to today- September 16 is an off and hard kind of day.  I fear it is a sad day for me.  I don’t know if it is a sad day or a day that my loss and defeat are so very evident, but it is not a normal day.  I am prepping to get to bed soon and thinking of where I was 9 years ago… how young I was, how naïve I was, what the day felt like and what I thought back then… I don’t regret the union, only (at this moment) wish it were different.  Alas, we can not control and fix everything.  I am here, in this very spot.  I am here in this spot, thinking of my little sister and her excitement and pain, her prepping and her progress.

Tomorrow I will get up, prep my chicken butts and (hopefully) head to Syracuse to meet my new little nephew.  I look forward to seeing him.  I miss new babies and can’t wait to see how God combined my sister Cortney and her husband Damon.  I wonder what adorable and quirky trait he will have, I wonder if he knows he met Madeline already.  I can’t wait to see his face and feel his skin.  I remember the feeling of meeting and feeling and knowing my new lovely.

I am often reminded of how life moves so fast… how things happen and change the course of life and living… how pain and joy and love and hurt are intermixed.  Labor and delivery are like that… pain and joy, patience and excitement, fear and certainty.  My sister is working, right now, in those mixes.  I know her, I know she is doing well and getting through.  I know she wants to meet her little guy, and introduce him to the world.  I know she wants to wear a pair of yoga pants and feels skinny- drink wine and eat a sandwich with deli meat.

I love my family.  I love my little family right here.  I love my Albany family that carries and takes care of me and my crew… I love home.  I love my home family.  I really love my sisters and brother… I love all of the kids that call me Aunt.  I freakin’ love my girls…

I can’t wait for Cortney to feel the closeness and comfort in these mothering relationships.  I can’t wait for her to show him many things… like I love to do with my girls.  I am glad we are all in this together to share it… the good, the bad, the hard, the sad, the funny, the real, the deep, the amazing… all of it.  Life and death.  All connected, all part of this.

See you in a bit RBK.  Get out of there buddy so we can meet you…

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