A hard concept for me… yet I say it all.the.time to my girls. I swear to God so many important lessons are learned in preschool and forgotten in adulthood. I am getting better at this one though… I control my fits. I am not always super happy with what I get, sometimes I want to throw a big fit… but lately I am doing better at not giving my big fits to anything but a good friend and a run. I have learned that my big fits don’t really help this situation. I got what I got… I must move on and live it up.
I feel that we are starting to level out and move on. I know I have said it before, in this we take 40 steps forward and and 52 1/2 steps back… and then 30 steps forward and only 22 steps back. It kind of goes like that. It gives me hope that I am not always falling behind. It was a week of mixed feelings… mixed emotions. It was a week of exhaustion from new adventures at Bradt Elementary. It was a week of preparation for family events that look and feel different. It was a week of thinking of a birthday party that will be different and for this year maybe forced. Those are hard things to let sink in. They are sinking in and staying… I guess we could say I am ‘taking what I get and not throwing many fits’.
I think life should be broken down more often into the simple stuff… the lessons we learned at such a young age. We learned important social lessons and relationship stuff. We learned about love and feeling safe and trying new things… even though the choices were more like whether or not we go down the slide or not- and life now is more like do we skydive or do I try that?… Imagine if we practiced those early lessons. Imagine if we simply treated people how we wanted to be treated… we were kind and said please and thank you (instead of being on our phones and ignoring waitresses and door openers). I know, I know… I am the last one to let people open doors for me, and train my girls to open them as well (for anyone). Imagine if we practiced you get what you get, be kind to all and throw it over your shoulder… what a different world this would be. Life is so freakin’ hard and at the same time the easy lessons are what really get us through.
So… here I am in this very spot, living, breathing, crying, laughing and moving- getting toward an Erin that is more thoughtful and remembers those lessons. I think I need to… to move. I get a day or a moment and I am stuck in the “ANGRY BAM OUCH” mode and then I throw it over my shoulder… run with friends and get rid of the mad. I try so hard, and fail sometimes, to be the Erin I want to be and know that my actions are mine and mine only. This is an important part, I know it.
So… lately it is a struggle to move and live and breathe… and throw it over my shoulder. I am in need of easy and lovely and useful…and I live. Even in the hard life is good. Even in the pain life is joyful. Even in the heavy life gets lighter… it is the nature of life.
So I will think about those life lessons learned as a child… and remind my brain when I am walking around all “woe is me”… and know that I need to throw it over my shoulder, get what I get and not throw a fit, suck it up buttercup, let it go, change my attitude… you know all those ones we say and don’t live. I am going to be cognizant and bring those thoughts forward when I need them. I know I often need to just step out of the situation and think about it- small problem/big problem… and not react as though many things are big problems. I keep going back to this ‘we get what we get and we don’t throw a fit’ saying when it gets really hard and I wonder “why me???”… and others say my life is SO hard… I think I got what I got, I won’t throw a fit… and sometimes I think jeesh, I sure am glad I don’t have your pile. I, mostly, accept and live with my pile. So… enjoy your pile… think young and simple and I think we all will have more fulfilling lives and take better care of ourselves and relationships.