A best day ever… and beyond.

Refections on a day well done… I am ending this day proud and tired and happy and sad and full and content… I am all of those things and probably 12 more if I had the brain to think out the rest.  I am mostly honored.  Today many amazing people gave up their time (the most valuable resource) to take care of and help another family that they are safe and surrounded and loved.  I learned so much when Madeline passed away and was (still am) constantly blessed with strong, smart and helpful people.  I try to help organize and show other families who are experiencing their worst case scenario that they are loved, they are carried and the world has got their back. I don’t know how the heck today came together… I never know.  I just trust that the Big Guy is in the details and the threads and connections.  He makes it all work even when it doesn’t work as planned (honestly though… when does the plan work???)  So the crazy amounts of details for today worked.  I know inside of me that the essence of a ‘best day ever’ was there… the full and true meaning of a ‘best day ever’.  It was even more meaningful and profound to me that it was a light not only to Kalina, but to many others.  In a time when light is hard to see or find… when news and life is full of darkness, hard times, anger and turmoil… when the news is full of riots, fighting, brokenness… there was a light- a bright light. I don’t often get emotional, it isn’t really the way that I feel my feelings.  Seeing Kalina get her makeup done and joke around with a funny State Trooper who came to visit and deliver a gift… I saw her lovely and strong Nanna get all dolled up.  I saw real profound and powerful strength and beauty in that room.  When Kalina got to see her purple Christmas laced with silver and a mantle that her dad was the centerpiece… she was so surprised.  I heard her gasp and I saw her feel the moment deeply.  Earlier in the day I delivered the coolest 12 year old girl outfit I have ever seen… A Paramore tunic, rocker leggings and buckle boots… Kalina is not a normal, peppy 12 year old she is special.  She is bold and funny and smart and sassy.  I loved that she told us what she would like.  What a gift, some adults still can’t do that.  I brought her outfit and a hot cocoa with whipped cream.  She opened the boots and squealed, she loved the shirt… SHE COULD NOT WAIT TO GET DRESSED.  I told her don’t worry so much more is coming (and Paramore is sending a special gift).  In her excitement she broke down.  She said “I don’t deserve this”.  I told her that she is a very special girl and she is very strong and she so deserves this.  That all of those people outside WANT to do this for you… they WANT you to be pampered and feel special.  They WANT your family to have what you all need…. they WANT you to spend your time together as a family not raking, decorating and cooking.  We WANT to take care of those things.  This is all for you and your Nanna and your Papa.  When Kalina saw the crowds of festive families and groups gathered in front of her house she was so surprised… it was powerful to see.  She greeted those families and supporters in a happy and brave way… Kalina listened to hundred’s of people singing just.for.her.  Her grandparents were honored.  She went inside  to rest and open gifts… and those amazing people went back to their lives, lighter and more full at the same time.  Kalina was happy.  She was very beautiful and happy. Now the world’s job is to keep up the praying, the carrying and the love… ❤ I stood in the crowd with my girls, freezing since I forgot to grab my coat from my car.  I kissed my chicks and just loved being right next to them for that special night.  I loved watching them be there and smile and tell me “there are people on the roof watching” or “why are there two santas… “.  I am supremely blessed.  I was emotional right then and there.  I stood in a huge crowd, surrounded by strangers and friends… and I felt that I had my three girls right here for this.  I know that Madeline is taking care of this business…. though she can’t hurry up UPS on delivery of a purple Christmas tree she helps combine the people and show us the threads… she takes care of the lovelies that she will be taking care of soon… I know it is her job.  I stood there pinching Lucy’s underwearless butt and telling her “i freakin’ love you”… I kissed Meme’s head and watched her try to read the carols with her new reading brain… I freakin’ love them.  I missed them this weekend.  Those chickens are my life… just like Kalina is her Nanna’s life.  We love, pray, carry, hope, cry, laugh, hide, scream, sing… we love our lovelies.  Forever and always… to the moon and back… to infinity and beyond.  Kalina is loved.  Madeline is loved.  In that crowd I was surrounded and overwhelmed with feelings… happy, hard, sad, joy, comfort, love, loss, fear, strength… all.of.the.above.  The mix of feelings makes us know we feel… happy in the sad, joy in the tears and strength in the hard… I am proud to have gotten to show Kalina that she is loved, surrounded, carried and brave.  I loved that at the end of the day she knew she owned this day.  It was her ‘best day ever’.  I am honored that they let us do this for her… that so many families who have lost a lovely got to have a hand in it.  We are not alone… Here are some pictures of Kalina’s ‘best day ever’… if you would like to help the family with medical expenses and help let me know… add Kalina to your prayer list.  Thank you all for helping me climb up this crazy polka dot tree and keep living and breathing and getting through.  Best.People.Ever. kalina10 kalina9 kalina8 kalina7 kalina5 kalina4 kalina3 Kalina2 kalina1

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