Mother did you know?

Watch and Listen… then read.

This song makes me cry and gives me goose bumps.  I have always loved this song, but this version is so rich and full.  I love the way they broke it up and brought all of those amazing voices together.  I mostly love the song though… amazing and profound words.  Imagine… It makes you wonder if Mary knew these details that were so important in her son’s life.  We all know that she knew she was having Jesus… but did she really understand what He was?  My brain has been wondering that lately.  Imagine what it would be like to be the mother of Jesus.  I can not.  I was not made to do that job.  I just wonder what goes through a mother’s mind when her son is Heaven’s Perfect Lamb- the Great I Am.  What is that like?  Did she worry more than we do, did she understand the vastness of his reign or job?  Imagine seeing your child die hung on a cross… but know He was fulfilling His job here.  I can not imagine the trust and faith she must have had… what is it like to know that you baby boy is so much different, more powerful and created for a role that is almost unbelievable if you don’t trust and have faith.   “Mary did you know???”

Mother did you know?

These thoughts come full circle in my brain.  Did I know that my daughters were made to be different, special and amazing.  Did I know that my daughter’s short life would be profound and powerful and positive?   My daughter is not Jesus, but her life meant so much.  I believe all children (and adults) lives are make for something special.  We are made with purpose… though my lovely ‘didn’t come to make me new’ and she ‘didn’t give sight to a blind man’… but I tell you she fulfilled her purpose.  Each of my daughter’s have a purpose, a gift.  In Madeline’s life she taught so many so much, in her death she has changed people and helped people.  Her name and story, her legacy, has a purpose- yesterday, today, tomorrow.  I was made to be her mom, to help her serve her purpose.  I was made for a purpose… I believe I am finding mine as I grow and change and understand my faith more.  I believe God made me to be a storyteller… and carry legacy and life and support to the ones He brings into my life.

I believe my daughters have important purpose and gifts… as do all of our children.  I also believe that we are made to use our gifts toward our purpose.  If we stray from our purpose we aren’t happy or content.  If we use our gifts for selfish reasons we will not flourish the way we should.  God creates brilliant minds that at capable of profound things, but this is a gift, to be used for something more than each of us.  I think of the awesomeness of a surgeon who can operate on a new babies heart, or a child who has a tumor wrapped around their aorta- how can his hands stay solid?  Where does she get the bravery to trust her hands and judgement?  Many, many people can write code, code that could change the world.  Millions of people are smart and bold enough to build a business and make a profit.  I believe that true success though lies in being unselfish with the smart, the bold, the steady, the good judgment.  I believe we should use our gift for the one who gave it to us… use our gift with grace and gratefulness.  I don’t believe we shouldn’t prosper or really enjoy life- someday when I grow up I would love a hobby farm and a good long trip to Greece… but I want to use my gift and my purpose and work toward those things with faith, a bit of pride and a lot of thanks.

So… as a mother or a father it is our job to raise our children to honor their gifts.  To fulfill their purpose.  This world would be so much more positive if we all worked and paid attention to our purpose and our talents… and used them toward positive’s that don’t overextend us.  As a mother or father we are made to build our children to use their gifts… to give them encouragement, accountability, respect, love, discipline, safety an courage… to use their special and their gifts and their talents to fulfil their purpose.  I know inside of me that Madeline’s purpose was huge.  God has kept her safe… I do not believe that God gave Madeline cancer, but he wrote the purpose in her journey.  I would take her back and help her fill another purpose in a moment… but that isn’t the real.  My purpose is to bring her with me, share this journey, learn from my mistakes, build my girls, build myself and tell that story.  It isn’t as profound or as holy or important as Jesus… but I assure you each of us is made to be important and successful, each of us has true purpose.

Did I know that my lovely girl would lose her life at just 5?  Did I know that Madeline would guide us to the places we need to be and the purposes she needed to fulfill?  Did I know that my girls would be so understanding and open?  Do we really ever get to know?  Did Mary know…did she understand?  I don’t think she did… or she would have wrapped Jesus in a suit of armor and never let him serve his great purpose.  We must just move and listen and trust and have faith…

❤ love you darling.  I love your purpose, I miss your dimples.  Keep guiding me with my purpose…

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