I am a grown up.

I feel like a grown up.  I feel like a grown up… when did that happen?  Here I am 32 years old, always wondering when I would be a grown up.  For all the junk I have been through one would assume I was already a grown up.  College, marriage, death of my daughter, divorce, running a foundation, being a mom to a bunch of kids… kind of re-entering the work force… those are all grown up things.  However, I never feel like a grown up.  I think in my brain I always thought of a grown up as someone who wears pencil skirts and goes to meetings and talks to politicians.  I have no idea why I assumed that… but hey it sounded right in my immature mind.  So today I worked out at the Y and took a shower.  I got dressed as quick as I could and had to find a nice woman to zip me up.  I did my hair and put on my most professional and holiday flower (a felt poinsettia).  I fixed my belt and put on black conservative cardigan and the matching flower pin.  I went all business grown up with a pinch of Erin.  Voila… I left the Y to head to a playdate and then to an interview.  This interview was planned a while ago with an Assemblyman for my area, Angelo Santabarbara.  He does Assembly Updates and was going to talk to me about our role in the community.  I was nervous and early but I kept it together.  I was all grown up.

So many are reading this thinking “that isn’t a big deal”… he is just a guy, he puts his pants on one leg at a time.  I will say I have a habit of making bosses and people of authority as intimidating.  As I keep growing up and seeing things differently I am noticing that people aren’t scary, even when they have more demanding or authoritative jobs… or even when they are smarter than me.  I am starting to see that I am a valuable me, I can be professional with a dash of ‘me’ and a pinch of bad vocabulary.  I am starting to see my self as grown up- but not in a bad way or old way but a confident way.  I was intimidated because I felt that my brain and thoughts weren’t as important as someone else’s.  It is silly really.  All this waiting to grow up and today I felt like a grown up… grown up and ready to do an important job and share my voice.  Jeez… I went off target with this one.  Anywho… today I donned some grown up clothes and felt solid and comfortable.  I felt like a grown up sharing what I need to share…

Angelo was really great.  I have heard great things about him and his involvement in this community here.  I felt comfortable and open talking to him.  He felt very real and honest… it was refreshing.  Sometimes I feel like so many public people and people of authority aren’t open and honest and real… but I will say the feeling I got from this Assemblyman was like a real guy who loves his area and is working to help others help his community.  I was honored that he read and talked about the ‘best day ever’ Sunday.  We both agreed that the most amazing part was all of the people who came to show their support and prayers and the sense of community for the Bushey Family.  That many families who have lost their children or seen their child fight childhood cancer came together to help them and lift them… it was special.  I felt like he understood that it is all of our jobs to do this… to be a great community.

So today was a good day… today was a busy dy.  I got to wear clicky shoes and a professional dress… I got to be video taped and interviewed and I got to walk the marble hallways of the State Office buildings and be on time for my meeting.  BAM… I am a grown up.  Thankfully being a grown up is way cooler than I thought.

angelo angelo2



4 thoughts on “I am a grown up.

  1. Yeah, adult stuff can be fun and rewarding and worth repeating. You look amazing and your pop of color with the statement neclace and hair flower are so chic. You go girl!!! (Or lady)


  2. So proud of you, Erin! The work that you do, and the grace with which you do it, are always inspiring. Thank you for always sharing your heart and mind, it helps us all to think and grow.


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