So this is Christmas, my dear.

So Happy Christmas… today is the day.  It will be special and different… an adventure.  I am glad my parents came to help in this adventure… not only to help wrap and put together the dollhouse, but because I am glad to have them here for this different.  Different is the new normal.  Weird huh?  How changing things is more normal than a regular and scheduled time.  Change is inevitable, we all know this… but really change is in everything and everyday.  I guess God wants us to get more flexible.

This amazing video makes me… cry some and smile.  It makes my skin prickle and my heart feel heavy… then light just a millisecond after.  The song itself is powerful… but the singer is who strikes me emotions and my ears.  She is a teenager.  She is a singer.  She is a student.  She is a sister.  She is a daughter.  All of these things are her… and she is lovely and talented.  She is also sick.  She is an amazing girl with a bucket list (ps her bucket list tells her personality).  You can not see her sick, you can not see her hard journey or choices she has had to be a part of recently.  You can not see the hurting or her struggles.  You see Ana.  You see Ana’s gift.  I love that most…

This song has always been a thought provoker… it sounds so calm and smooth- then the words bring some of the hard parts of life in.  It also brings wishes for ALL to enjoy and make it a Happy Christmas and New Year.  It’s a different song for Christmas… not peppy and positive, but honest and calm and real.  It isn’t religious.  It is profound in the hope of a lighter and happier year.  A year that lacks war and fear- a good year for all.  In a way it speaks in a perspective that we ALL enjoy what we have the best we can and love it… if that makes sense.  There is always war (in the world and in our lives) there is always fear… but the hope is that we all find a happy year and Christmas in that turmoil.  I, obviously, know that a war was just over as well, in the time it was written.  This song is more about overall though… at least in my brain and heart.  So this song, sung by the lovely Ana, means a lot.

So… for me this song is a little gift, a little light.  It is a reminder of the light and spirit and looking for the love and peace… the connections and threads.  I am so comfortable getting to know Ana’s mom, she is amazing.  This connection to her has brought another mom that has seen big hard things…. that still sees the light.  She is real and candid and she has shared and written things that have really helped me. I am glad for the connection… thankful.  I have never met this family, but the thread is there.

‘So this is Christmas, what have you done?  Another year older, a new one just begun… A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Let’s hope it’s a good one… Without any fear… ‘

So as we all celebrate and enjoy our today… I wish you a Happy Christmas.  I wish you a lovely New Year.  I wish you the hope and the perspective to see the light and love and real… to really be happy.  I hope you let yourself connect to those people when a thread is connected.  I hope you can see each of us for what we are… not for what we are doing, fighting, seeing, thinking, struggling with… but for what we are.  I hope you can smile and laugh even in the hard times.  I hope you pray and open up… and get naked sometimes (not naked naked… but vulnerable)… only when we share our vulnerability can we connect beyond surface.  Let others light in, celebrate their good life and success.  Let go of some of the ‘wars’ in your life… So this is Christmas- the war is over.  Let it go.  Let the light in.

Merry Christmas darling.  Thank you for the connections and support and love… I freakin’ love you, every bit of you.  I flippin’ miss you- your good, your bad.  You are with Jesus for Christmas… which I know is a good place to be.  Someday…. my darling I will be there with you, til then keep guiding and connecting.  Keep showing lights… goodnight boogerbutt.

Happy Birthday Jesus.  Thank you.  Always thank you…

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