I am sitting the airport, after a bit of a hectic day. I was supposed to leave tomorrow, a nice direct flight to Florida… but since the Blizzard of the Century is coming… my flight was safely cancelled. I was so anxious that I wouldn’t get the see the sun… but they managed to put me on a flight today and I should be outside blizzard territory in a little while (thank you Jesus…). The details for the girls ironed out and I think I remembered everything I need for a weekish on the beaches of Florida, a cruise and a stop in the Bahamas. So… after all those details and stress… I am almost in the clear, almost free for a bit of life and some adventures.
I have really not been to Florida since I was young and I have never been on a cruise or to any warm islands (I am quite limited to the 1000 Islands… which are rockin’ in the summer). So this adventure is full of firsts… I am so excited for a break and just some simple sun and warmth. I think my soul needs this. I think my brain needs a new surrounding… with no responsibility, no work, no expectations and honestly no plans other than books and time with an new and amazing friend.
I have a suitcase full of bathing suits, maxi dresses and my big coach sunglasses… I brought some books I have been waiting to read (nothing too deep Mindy Kaling, Amy Poehler and Glennon Dolye Melton)… books that are real and fun and true… books that help me feel human and true and brave. Books that make me smile… I made it through the first chapters of Mindy’s book “Is everyone hanging out without me?”… and it is all about her being the pudgy girl. I can identify… we pudgy girls unite and share and laugh… and BAM we rock… I guess that is a little bit of free Erin cheering. I guess all of this freedom is making me punchy and bold, shocking isn’t it? I laugh reading her words, I know the feelings and I know the confidence that comes from loving yourself anyway. I used to always say “The pudgy girl gets the guy”… I wish I could have told my old self that I am just worthy, who the heck cares about the pudgy part. Also it is more fun to hang out with girls who love themselves and eat more than lifesavers and vodka… when I am well fed I am a happy and fun person…
Erin. Back on track. Get back on track.
So… where was I? Oh yes. I am free. I already miss my chickens. I miss that Meme’s darn tooth will fall out this week and I have yet to be the lady who gets the fresh, icky, bloody tooth handed to her. I swear it holds on until she isn’t in my care… oh well. She has a mouthful J… right? I’ll be there someday for a tooth falling out… I already miss Lucy’s lil butt. I miss pinching her and telling her she the best freakin’ Lucy ever. I already miss Meme talking and talking about her day. I think I am excited to miss those chickens… I am sooooooo excited to buy them souvenirs. I can’t wait to bring Madeline some sand from my adventures. I can’t wait to see what it is like, I want to bring them with me next time. I want to take an adventure with those bubbaloos. So part of my freedom is a planning trip for an adventure with them. Those girls are my world… all three of them. Madeline is in paradise… and I will be flying. Those facts make me feel close to her. I don’t know why flying and being in the sky makes me feel close to her. Maybe Heaven is right near airplanes… who knows. Maybe she takes extra good care of me when I am flying… but it doesn’t matter. I just am glad to be in the sky.
So… a little freedom and some clarity is a need today. I will share bits of this amazing adventure, even if I am stranded tonight. I am an easy traveler… and I am scrappy. I will make the best of hard parts and then I will put my feet in the sand, feel the sun and feel warm and free. I will find a new bit of me, a bit of me who has never visited many places. I will enjoy the company of an awesome woman. I will thank God for every bit of this adventure… I will hope Madeline bugs me or shows me she is with me on this adventure. I hope I come home feeling more me, more free, more clear, more at peace and more ready for the next hump and the next hard… and the next amazing.
I freaking love you darling. I can’t wait to be in the clouds and above… smack me with a bot of you. I want to really KNOW you are bugging me.