I feel like it has been ages since I typed a little to share a thought or story… in a way it has been. I have felt a little uninspired lately, a little heavy. Maybe I was just following my mother’s rule- if you don’t have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all… who knows. I say that like there is something worth sharing that has bugged me, but alas that is not the case, nothing worth sharing has happened. I am stepping out from my little dark corner though… popping back into my words and work.
My last weekend with no Musto Chicks was a really great one, full of runs, wine, friends, surprises and amazing people. Those are my favorite kind of weekends…
My friend Melissa, one of my hot and confident soul ladies, was hosting a wine night at her home. I had a friend coming in from out of town, I was scared she would be uncomfortable. We arrived and were instantly surrounded by a major part of my herd… my women. There was no uncomfortable to be had… only warm light, great dips and strong women. My friend Mel was welcomed and comfortable in this big group of ladies… because that is how they are. We are family, we are all family. We are not just ladies who like wine or moms who bonded when our girls were younger or women who work their butts of to be healthy… we are family. I am blessed to have family in so many places… people who love me for me, accept me with my butthead characteristics, applaude my strengths and help build me in my weak areas… I am blessed with family to carry me. If you let yourself see it I am sure you are as well…
That night around a big and overstuffed dining room table (homemade and amazing)… there was talk and stories and laughs. Around that table we all became more vulnerable and more alive, a little lighter in this crazy life. We each connected more than most can imagine. It was easy, it was fun and it was another favorite night for me. I ate way too much jalapeno dip and might have drank too much… water, but it was a perfect night. I was sitting around chatting and eating and drinking and then all of the sudden out came a cake. After eating so much I could burst, I had to blow out the candles and eat some cake… sometimes it is hard to be me ;). I managed… and it was awesome. I sat surrounded by some of the most important and special gifts in this big crazy life… eating cake and enjoying my gift- Violet.
I met Violet that night. She is strong, sturdy and moves so easily. Violet is up for adventures, she is ready and alert… in fact she is probably pissed I have no trips to Florida planned. She is lovely and beautiful and useful. She also can carry one of my friends or my two daughters… she is one powerful and purple piece of luggage. I met her in Melissa’s dining room and I know she will be along for the long run. Who knows maybe she will carry my stuff when I travel to Greece someday or Paris, or celebrate my daughter’s wedding in Bali (crap I am getting ahead of myself here…). For now though, she is right with me. She is busy being very easy to maneuver and perfectly purple… she is perfect. My family knows me, how I love to squish my favorite people around a table and eat lots… drink wine and plan adventures… this is my life. I love it. Violet is a reminder of those who support my adventures in life, travel, writing, parenting and running… She is perfect.
All of the sudden that night the tired hit me and I needed to go home. My friend dropped me off and I went to bed. I felt light and loved… I was reminded of the amazing in this. The plans the Big Guy has for my girls and I. I love sharing life with them. I love sharing life with my family home and here. I am so eternally thankful, so blessed. In the hard stuff, when there is nothing good to say, there is plenty of amazing carrying, pulling and supporting me. I know I need to feel it all, let it all out. I know that. I look forward to the adventure of my girls and I with Violet, they fit in her too! God takes awesome care of us, even when we are tired.
So… in another year where my birthday feels itty bitty and my age feels old… He sent in my family all over to make sure I saw it all bigger… I am still here. I feel 55, I am almost 33… I love age and aging… I just want to feel younger and lighter. I know this life has been heavy and hard, but I know amazing is coming, awesome will smack us in the face and super will pop in. I know this. I am just chuggin’ and livin’ through to summer… to a time that is brighter and lighter. I hope Violet has gotten lots of experience before then….