After an amazing night, a celebration for Madeline and all of the work that we have done to her honor, I woke up to a bunch of messages and Facebook posts. I was blushing as I read them, which doesn’t really happen too often. Kristi, a local blogger and celebrity, was on the radio station talking to the FLY Morning Rush about beautiful people. Sandra Bullock was nominated most beautiful person, and she wanted to see what local women would also be labeled as Most Beautiful. There was a conversation about what makes a person beautiful, physical beauty, personality and confidence. It was a segment that I missed and probably would have choked on my coffee if I had been listening. After talking about some amazing and lovely women- newscasters, radio personalities and an awesome medium… Kristi named her pick. She picked me, Erin Musto.
I felt honored and maybe embarrassed, I don’t know why. I have now had a day to think about it and see it, and it makes me feel special and more confident. I went from a blushing and in a way hoping that a bunch of people were not listening to the most popular morning show in the area… to being proud and feeling beautiful (even though I have yet to shower and my breath all full of coffee). I got to listen to the segment and hear what it is to be defined as beautiful. Kristi described beautiful exactly how I do, how I want my daughters and nieces and nephews to grow up and see beauty. It wasn’t about my killer boobs, my awesome hair or my skinny-nonwobbly-bits filled body… it was about Me. It was about confidence, personality, inner beauty and physical beauty. How could I be embarrassed for someone saying that I am beautiful?
I fell into that little hole that we all fall into, I didn’t even say thank you at first. I broke my rule that I remind all of my friends about- Just shut up and say thank you. If I give you a compliment I mean it, if I don’t like your dress I and I compliment your shoes then I love your shoes. So when I compliment a friend and they discredit it hurts my feelings, so I tell them to shut up and say thank you. So… I caught myself doing what I get annoyed with. So I said thank you and let people post kind things on my wall and tell me I am beautiful. Some parts of that are hard to believe… isn’t that weird? I think God makes everyone beautiful, whether you look very different or have diseases or experiences that change your looks. Part of that is part of your journey, kind of like Nemo, it is just part of being Nemo… figuring out how to function at being different. I strongly believe that the things that make us ugly or dark or unattractive inside and out are products of choices… in fact some of the most attractive people are not attractive when you know them or see their inside self. So we are all beautiful… or have the ability to be.
So today am honored, especially after hearing the segment. I am blessed to be me, the exact me that I am supposed to be right.this.very.moment. Thank you for telling me something about me that I wonder about sometimes, but I know inside of me that I kind and loving and confident and bold and beautiful and silly and caring and me. I do. I need reminders when I feel like my inside beauty is very tied to me wobbly bits… I need reminders when I have a week of sick kids and feel low… I need reminders. I am thankful for the reminder and for the love. Sometimes, in all of these hard experiences, we can feel so far away or just icky… but I am loved. I am loved always by The Big Guy… by my girls, my family, my friends and my herd. I am wrapped up in amazing people all.the.time. I am thankful for the blessing of seeing and knowing that. I am thankful that I can generally see this awesome and warm blanket that God has wrapped around my life, even in the darkest moments and times. I am thankful that there is ALWAYS light in my life.
So thank you Kristi, thank you Chrissy… I will not pick myself apart but instead I will shut up (after this post) and say thank you.