The start of summer the end of …

… And so the end begins again.

School is about to be over and thank heavens summer vacation starts. We Musto girls need some get up with no alarm clock days –STAT. What a different year having all of my girls at one school… gone are the days of Preschool party, field trip, mixed with Moving up and end of the year nights… welcome to baseball practice and Meet the instrument night, field days and lots of work coming home from the whole year. It is hard to believe that preschool days are so far behind us…

Today was the Moving Up ceremony for the Nursery School I have been subbing at. Those 3 year olds will be heading to 4’s next September… and the cycle of growing continues. Back in the day I couldn’t see life with no preschool. It was mine and the girl’s life for a LONG time, a good life. We had awesome teachers, a great program and wonderful friends. It was home. For 5 years it was home… and then last summer came and Lucy entered Kindergarten… and we said ‘goodbye’ to those teachers and friends. I think the year flew by and until today I didn’t let myself think about how much I missed those teachers and those days… how I missed the projects still wet with glitter, the handprint crafts and the HUGE hug I got when I kneeled down to pick up each one of the girls. I thought about the afternoons we got to hang out and play, the playdates and the adventures that fit better into time. Today I felt a bit ot sad for those days… I missed preschool. I was standing with a pile of other kiddos, excited to move up with their families… missing when my chicks were that little.

Funny how they just keep growing, isn’t it? One time I told Lucy- ‘Stop growing.’… she told me ‘I can’t God just keeps giving me one more day’… and I am always reminded He is. She gets one more day to grow and do her job… just like I do, and you do to. We can’t hold back time, it just keeps moving. Moving is a good place to be, but sometimes reflecting and missing is a great place to be. I do love that my brain has taken lots of snapshots of moments, with stories or silly words, and it keeps it in there. They pop out sometimes.

Today I woke up really cranky, and I was mad at myself for being cranky. I had no reason for crankiness, I had slept well, I woke up to my girls being silly, we weren’t late yet… and I was still cranky. I preapologized to the girls and worked not to be edgy to them. I could not pin the cranky. Then all day I went through moments that I missed, as I have often this week. Preschool graduations, moms crying for their little 4 years olds last day of preschool, getting big knock me over hugs from little ones and hearing my kids excited for the summer, talking about Madeline’s birthday and the lake with their cousins. These days cost a lot, in energy and mood. I just move and live and watch and enjoy and clap and cheer… and then I realize where we are and what is missing. Sometimes it costs a lot to be okay. As I pushed as hard as I could, for the only ½ hour I could squeeze in at the gym…. It dawned on me what my cranky was. It was a combination of missing and moving away and growing up… hurting and healing… smiles and pain. I was sure my cranky had to do with bad dreams or something, but alas I think it was just this time and this reflecting that my insides are doing. Those darn insides forget to tell the outsides…

So, since the end is near all the good stuff comes home. The girls both brought home their writing journals… full of good stuff from this year. It is my favorite thing to decipher Lucy’s words, blows my mind that she can sound spell so well. I love Amelia’s neat and detailed writing. So I was going though it all and reading and laughing at some and reflecting on others. It was hard to read Amelia’s Meet the Author… did you know that she lives with her mom and her sister Lucy. What a tiny family that is. When did it get so small? All those missing names…

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Did you know that Amelia’s funest day (story) was as simple as a trip to the hot tub together and then a storm… I forgot to put the cover on and the water splashed out… so after the storm we went back to swim and there was no water. FUNEST day ever… note to self: little things=big things. I am Lucy’s biggest fan. <3. I am glad they know that… I stinkin’ love them. I probably hug them, nibble them and smell their hair wayyyyyy too much. I am very thankful that they never refuse that, unless it is Lucy and she doesn’t want lipstick on her. Writing, as per normal, changes me. Today it was my chicklet’s words that were written that changed my heart. Their writing helped guide my brain and heart to a better place…

Crazy how life keeps moving. The beginnings start and turn to endings over and over again, in most stories. Every beginning has its hard and every ending does as well… life’s about all the parts of those. As much I miss some things, I love the now. The reflection of preschool and how far we are from it hurts and feels good… sometimes it is bittersweet that ‘God just keeps giving us one more day’… I guess we should use it well.

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5 thoughts on “The start of summer the end of …

  1. Those pre school days will always live on, and we as preschool teachers never forget them, Maddies singing and crafting at the round table, Meme having us dress up to have a dance party, Lucy giving the best pick her up a twirl hugs when it was time to go home. And all those sweet little gifts with the cute tags from you, I have them all tucked away with my Maddie 5k walk tee shirt, safe in my scrap books and in the memories in my heart. Here’s to our next wonderful adventures! ❤ Ms Karen

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “sometimes it is bittersweet that ‘God just keeps giving us one more day’… I guess we should use it well.” ❤

    Like

  3. Yet another example of the pure, unscathed wisdom of children: “I can’t, God just keeps giving me one more day.”

    Also, who plays baseball? I LOVE baseball, so much so that when I became too old to play in the town league, I started coaching the team I’d been on for 7 years, the Tigers. We actually just had a game last night (we won!!!). I would love to play baseball for my school, but *insert childish mimic voice here* oh Sam, you can’t, you have to play girls’ softball because we have it as an option *end of mimicking*. The people who say this clearly aren’t knowledgeable enough to do their job correctly, because if softball was just a girls’ baseball league, THEN IT WOULD BE CALLED GIRLS’ BASEBALL!!! Ugh.

    Sorry. Rant over. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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