9 WHOLE days off…

What does a mom do with 9 whole days off, while her girls are away? I could just worry, but most likely they are fine… I could just mope, since they are experiencing without me- but honestly I experience much with them… or I could be in a rage for all the mean and ick and mad and bad that got them to this trip- but I am too light for that, I am too far from that girl who was mad. So… I just did what I do and filled it up, with a lil’ help from my friends, you know I get by with a lil’ help from my friends…

lake placid

After swapping a night of going out for drinks for a movie (and there was nothing good playing…) the week started. I traveled home for a lovely celebration of life and funeral… then watched younger and cooler people (potentially just less tired and old) dance and enjoy a housewarming party. Sunday was just a quiet day with an amazing sunset and some family. I came home to a clean house, laundry folded, rug replaced, lawn mowed and more- I had some elves working up some amazing here. It was so refreshing and lightening to come home to a fresher and cleaner house. It was a really special feeling. So… my cleaning and organizing day became my pampering and taking care of me day… with nails, drinks with a friend, haircut and color, then dinner at my favorite place. I probably should not have indulged in the second blood orange margarita- but I felt invincible and I had a driver…

Wednesday was project clean out my car. I accidentally left the passenger car door open, noticed some birds that looked like they were straight from Cinderella- flying into my car and bringing crumbs out to eat… maybe not my proudest moment, but at least I made those birds happy. I shut the door, scrubbed the sticky booster seats and got to work on the crumbs… Finally it was time to get ready for Track Day with my girls. I was mildly excited (haha, or maybe VERY excited). I felt like I hadn’t seen my ladies in forever. Those girls (and a few others) were plopped right here in this journey for all the parts. So we loaded up and headed out, we were creative and had teenagers drive us up and paid them. I warned our driver, an adorable and young college student, that he would hear lots. He would learn lots… he could repeat anything he wanted – but no names. He agreed and we made a blood pact, joking (crap I wish we made a blood pact)!!!

Track night was amazing. We got to experience the Paddock at the Race Course… we got to kind of meet our horse and his owner. It was a new and fancy experience. Then we watched the one race we came for and headed out for way too little food, way too many drinks and DANCING that I wish no one videotaped. I laugh thinking back on the conversations and the singing and the dancing… I loved every second of it. I loved the best pizza after, the most delicious Saratoga pizza that let’s many women with no shoes eat… best.night.ever.

Thursday started a whole new adventure… after visiting the track for a bit of family time, I got a huge and kind gift of time and easy and relaxing in Lake Placid. It was amazing and special… simple and SOOOO NEEDED. The hotel was amazing and full of amenities, Lake Placid was full of adventures. We walked and ate, wandered and looked, sat and read. We ran and kayaked. I felt content and happy. I don’t know, sometimes, how I am gifted such amazing gifts in this life. When I am sitting watching the lake with one the best people in my life… just looking at some of the most amazing mountains, New York at its best and a lake that is freakin’ perfect… feeling satisfied and full and happy… you know that the Big guy is taking care of you. I know this. I am grateful and blessed… Lake Placid was one of my favorite adventures in a LONG time…

I ended the weekend in my girl’s favorite place, without them, enjoying some of my favorite family. It was easy and bittersweet. I loved getting many little kiddos on my lap for snuggles… my nieces and nephews knew how much I missed my girls. I could.not.wait.to.hug them… I could not wait to touch their skin and see their smiles. I missed them differently than I ever have. So… snuggling and seeing my amazing nieces made me happy/sad. Returning to Albany was bittersweet as well. I was excited to hug the girls but sad to end this week of adventures and me… I was ready to prep for school but dreading the normal and busy. What a weird chuncka’ feelings.

Seeing and touching and hugging the girls solidified my missing and my full when they are with me. It was such a mix- to hug them and wish they didn’t have fun, but glad they did. We made it to bedtime… and watched a movie in my bed (only my kids think a DVD in my bed on a ghetto tiny TV is cool…) Amelia complained a lot about being hot, having a belly ache, a head ache and was so restless. I brought her downstairs to get comfy, grab a cold cloth and find a spot to rest. Amelia, who acted so strong on her trip, broke down and told me she missed me so much but thought she shouldn’t tell me so she didn’t hurt me. She had a great time and loved time with her Dad, but came home and our house felt different (maybe clean doesn’t look good here…). She felt that my voice sounded different, my hair was changed… she wondered if anything was the same. I told her I am so glad she had fun, that I have terrible allergies, I will not clean as much as others did for us… and that she will never hurt me by telling me. That she should tell me so I can help her lift the heavy and the hard. I know it is hard to be gone from home, she and Lucy were so brave. 9 days is a long time… I am proud they enjoyed it. I hope, often, that they know I am safe and always here. I know she it held in for me…

I am so glad to back to our normal… even if it means cranky Lucy and Attention Seeking Meme. I love my chicklets, my amazing special friend and friends, my family and my herd. All are too good for me, all are too amazing. I enjoyed my 9 days. I have enjoyed every day since… not every moment, but every day.

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