One of those days… up and down and back up…

The drive home today was rough, well it had a rough start.  About 20 minutes into the trip Amelia started her angry and annoyed about the lack of an eraser.  An eraser was about to flare up the crazy lady that lives in Meme.  I was in no place to find an eraser, driving 60 mph… let alone that fact that I was on Tug Hill and all you can buy there is gas and beer.  She proceeded to yell ‘Mom, mom, mom, mom… get me an eraser.’  I told her to take a break and breathe through it.  I could not fix the problem, only help her calm.  She pretty much hates people helping her calm down… so Lucy and I ignored her.  She escalated, unbuckled and jumped up front.  I pulled over and tried to keep calm.  She buckled and I drove.  She threw a lap desk at me (and other items) and I chucked it out the window.  Life is safer with less things to knock the driver out.  It was a scary ride.  I didn’t know how to calm her and finally about 40 minutes in I was the same crazy mad lady as her.  After a long time of pinches and digs and mean words I was yelling too.  Ick.

I thought about dropping her off to some Amish people and calling my parents to come grab her.  I figured General Brown would fit her in and she could come back in like… 2016.  I thought about pulling over and letting her chase me through some cow fields… maybe wearing down some of the mad.  Finally she broke down and apologized.  I wasn’t ready for it yet and she took a nap.  When she woke up, I told her I was sorry for my words and that we need to find a way for her to handle her mad.  It isn’t healthy to handle it this way.  I told her if she could breathe through and \start using the tools we work on I would reward her, something cool and fancy like Clams at Johnny’s or a movie out.  I want her to think and try in those moments.

So… after about 40 minutes of Christmas music and good driving and a normal ride back from Watertown the mood had changed and we were in family Christmas mode.

We went to our traditional place for our tree and parked the car.  I rearranged the boosters and third row, so we could do it all by ourselves.  We put Sparky on her leash and headed out to find the perfect tree.  We looked and looked, then found a great one for us.  This process works better when you remember you have a tiny living room… I am currently thankful I have a saw to cut it shorter.  We pulled our tree to the jeep and stuffed it in the car.  The girls were covered in sap and told me that they really missed when daddy tied the tree to the top of the car.  I told them that those times are great memories.  I told them that there are more memories to come…

We drove home with a tree sticking out the liftgate and a car stuffed to the brim.  We pulled in to our house to an amazing surprise.  We got ‘tacoed’ by my amazing and special friend Mr. Rick.  It was the perfect gift to drive into, lights and a new light up weiner dog.  The girls were so excited.  I was so aware of his kindness.

Rick is a special man.  He has been put through a hot mess this past year and a half, a hot mess that he doesn’t deserve.  He has been a rock for me and I have tried to help him  the same… it is quite special finding a person who is so caring.  Rick takes care of his family, he has some amazing and funny boys.  I first met Rick and his family after Madeline passed.  His nephew, Devon, was diagnosed with DIPG and passed the year Madeline left us.  He was a rock then and is now.  He is the guy that you know his Dad and Grandfather are proud of, the one that takes care of his grandma, loves up his boys and kills all the spiders for his nieces.  He is thoughtful and kind and patient, he is super resilient.  He has been tried in a way that I could never have handled with such grace and patience.  I would have gone all crazy Erin by now (Amelia and I are so similar).  He has had constant people following him, documenting and trying to track his life… honestly though I think the tracking would show how generous he is.  Silly people… I have learned though sometimes you must try to back fake stories.  I don’t have fake stories, I am pretty genuine.  Rick is the same, he has no fake to back.  He an amazing person, friend, hugger and part of his family.  I am thankful for him, his family and getting ‘tacoed’.

So rough stuff softened up… and amazing popped up in the hard.  I love how life works like that… Ending a day that during my ride home I thought I had given up on a lot to some rockin’ amazin’…

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