I believe.

A few weeks ago I discovered a new song. Just as others I listen and listen over and over and let it really resonate in me. This new song is by one of my favorite singers, one that really touches on real human feelings. She doesn’t sing all big and brave, nor do her songs make me want to dance like Rihanna. I often connect to music to help me understand feelings. I liken it to writing and speaking or other ways to connect to a feeling and emotion, it is a way for my brain to hear another person going through the same things. Christina Perri can sing a feeling and a period in life so well. I remember clearly the first time I heard ‘Jar of Hearts’… I heard it in a moment that I didn’t just need it- I was in it. A song about a person trying to keep their ‘jar of hearts’ fit the time, it was during my ex-husband’s first affair when my youngest was very young. I felt that song, deeply. She sang the pain and the truth… the fighting with boundaries back then. It covered the naïve I had lost… the confusion of someone hurting you and wanting you back, like you were a collection. It touched something in me, I wish I were stronger after that song. Sometimes, I wish I had been stronger back then… but then again maybe we are right where we were supposed to be at this very moment…

She touched a nerve a couple years later with her song ‘Human’… a song the made me hear the words I felt- that I can only be so much. “But I’m only human, and I bleed when I fall down…” a song about doing everything, taking care of all the business… but knowing that I am only human, and I break too. I do love the hope in it, the part that she talks about being able to get through it… because I know, just as she does, that we get through it. It just feels freakin’ good to remind ourselves that we are ONLY HUMAN. We are not robots, we bleed and break… but we get to the other side…

The song lately that pings around in my brain is very different, the tune and the message. It basically tells the story I have written for so long… but in a much more beautiful way, as only a songwriter can do. Christina’s song ‘I Believe’ booms my heart every.single.time.I.hear.it. It is so honest. She writes and sings what I know… I love it. I wish God gifted me that, to sing my thoughts. I know the world would hear more if I could sing with a better voice, write my words so beautifully… what a gift she has. He song… resonates hope and holding on, it relates her pain and living… her strength. I love her boldness. “This is not the end of me, this is the beginning”… maybe a reminder- chin up, keep moving. We all have hard stuff, we are all a bit lost… but shouldn’t know… it’s a powerful song. I love how she talks about the fact that the darkness reminds us where light can be…”. Those are powerful words right there… to know that only in darkness can we REALLY understand and see light. How true is that? It isn’t all cliché, I promise. It is real. In the hardest and darkest days there are bits of light, those bits look bigger when shining in dark. Small bits of light, or gestures of love are bigger in the darkest moments.

This song might not resonate in you, music is like books and blogs and TED talks… to each their own. Connect when you do, learn when you don’t. I, in my heart feel so much when I hear Christina Perri, you may not. I love to hear what helps you, what you hear… what you love. I love to learn from other’s journeys and lessons…


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