Every year about this time I go on a crazy clean up, organize and get rid of things adventure. I often spend a few days really focused on this job. Never have I had a year where I tackled ‘The Purge’ like this year. I don’t know what it is, maybe the desire to achieve order… maybe the desire to let go of some of the past. I had bins for the girl’s underwear and socks, and though I had sorted through there were training underwear in one and socks labeled 6-12 months from Old Navy. I held on to outfit I had bought for Madeline to wear, even though they didn’t fit or weren’t the style of Amelia or Lucy. I just couldn’t get rid of them.
‘The Purge’ takes on a new meaning with recent movies, I definitely didn’t go out for one night and take out any I didn’t like (honestly if this night ever happened I would hide and stay away until morning). I do think I woke up one day sick of so much heavy past mixed into our now. Why do I still have a blanket from Matthew’s old bed, it was tucked into a basket of DVD’s. I took this house by the reigns and have donated,sold, stored and gifted so many things that I can.not.believe.my.tiny.house.fit. I don’t know how we even had that much stuff. I laugh a little because in true Musto Chick form we are not only reorging the house, but starting a remodel of Amelia’s Bedroom. She of course wishes it were done yesterday, I am waiting for a weekend the girls are at their dad’s to finish.
It is funny as we grow how and what changes. I remember redecorating Madeline’s room. I had a vision and it took a long time for my brain and lifestyle to deliver… but I wanted her to have a room before Amelia came. I remember the process was crazy- Matthew and I moved upstairs and that room needed SOOOO much work. The new room was a bit of a mess until Matthew took on the floors and I got crazy painting. Yellow, albeit a little too bright, was the palette. There was no theme, only colors, balanced with a lot of white. I loved that room, and over time Amelia and Madeline and later Lucy slept on that double iron bed. Amelia asked to have her room redone, like a sky. She wants sky with a reading nook that feels like heaven. In our purging we are prepping for a big room redo. I thought about doing it all before Christmas or having it done, but I know it would be too much to have taken on. So here we go…
In the midst of the ‘Great Purge of 2017’ we are recreating and reorganizing… we are starting fresh this year. We are purging so much, but finding some balance in what we have. We are putting things from a past that only needs to be in memories away. I know I will love to go through the toys we packed away and the little outfits Madeline was supposed to wear- someday in the near future.
Amelia asked me how different life would be if Madeline were still here… I replied honestly that I have no idea. I can’t fully understand how it would be because it isn’t. I know that our days would be different, I know Matthew and I would be divorced, but would the events leading up to that divorce be the same? Would I know the people we know now? Would the girls be the girls that the people they are becoming? What would it be like to see her today, with her dimple and her giggle… would her voice still be raspy? I don’t know the answers to any of these… just that we are where we need to be today. We are living and regrouping and building and reorganizing and purging and moving and crying and hurting just as we need to be.
The ‘Great Purge of 2017’ definitely doesn’t warrant killing anyone in a free-for-all not laws kind of night… but it definitely warrants getting life in order. Creating and building and enjoying a life of less… with less stuff and things and drama… less past that can be put away.
Are you a part of ‘The Great Purge of 2017’? Share, comment and let me know what crazy purging you will be doing…