… Believe them the first time


I saw this quote a few weeks ago, I find myself thinking about it a lot. It makes sense. I even hear myself saying it lots to others when we are talking about life and relationships. I look back at many relationships in my life history and wish in some ways I could have heard this then. I wish I could have listened ‘the first time’. I remind myself though, that I cannot be this very me without every day in my history happening just.the.way.it.has. I try to bring it along for my right now and my future.

Sitting on the beach with my friends while our kiddos played in the sand and tried to catch minnows we talked about everything. The conversations were sometimes interrupted by a kiddo coming for a snacks or the occasional “Keep the sand down!!!”… but it was one of those catch up days. I feel like many instances deserved this quote- When people show you who they believe them. Old friends, new friends, family members, coworkers, all of it… I love those days. They get me, I get them… and I see who they are showing me.

I felt a little repetitive and like I stole a quote- but then I knew that Maya wanted people to remember this. Our world would be better… if we walked away from those who showed their negative and corrupt and unkind. We could focus our light and energy and kindness to those who need it, not those who don’t. Imagine if I heard this quote while my marriage was breaking and I could have stepped off the rollercoaster sooner… or not felt betrayed by friends- instead I could have reminded myself that I could see who they were before. I just wanted them to be better…

I have been reading Glennon Melton’s Book Love Warrior, today what I read resonated with this quote. She was in church just after leaving her husband being told by a church member basically told her that God would not be okay with her for divorce- that she was breaking her children. In true Glennon form she had a great set of words to gift that ‘Christ loving woman’… and she left that church. She stood there being judged by humans who judged like they were God- that woman showed her who she really was and Glennon listened… she walked away and found real. When people show you who they are believe them…

This is true in ALL areas… right now there are protests in the south. There are terrorists and peacekeepers and love and hate are riding right next to each other. There are people standing with their ‘pitch forks’, actually the idiots are using tiki torches like they are celebrating… and they are raising hate. Their actions show who they are- they might be a great dentist, nurses, business owners, teachers… they are all members of communities and they showed us who they are. We must listen.

They have shown us who they are and we must listen. They are hate. They are evil. They are bad. Their voices need to be silent- not one word that comes out of their mouths deserves respect or listening. We need to build a circle of love… for the ones brave enough to stand next to this rally and be a peacekeeper, for the law enforcement keeping the peace and safety. Their voice needs to be silent in our memories- no hate comes along. Fuck them.

I can’t be there to help. I see who they are though… and I will preach love. We all have a job here- do not support those haters. When they go home to their communities help them fail- don’t use their business, switch dentists, work to get them out of your child’s school and make them fail.

Remember we cannot fight darkness with darkness- only light. Be a lantern… snuff out those tiki torches. Travel on in this scary world and remember who has shown you who they are- be it gossipy, careless with your heart, evil, or fake… listen the first time.


2 thoughts on “… Believe them the first time

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